insomnia

Hi, I'm Auggie. I'm 18 and I'm from Chicago. I love puppies and being a bad bitch.
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"I’m ashamed of myself because I know I should be better and I have no idea how to get there."



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Almost. It’s a big word for me. I feel it everywhere. Almost home. Almost happy. Almost changed. Almost, but not quite. Not yet. Soon, maybe.

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"you want to know something scary? some people go their entire lives not finding someone who makes them feel alive. I figured that out a while ago and I made a promise to myself to be the person responsible for my own happiness. I do irrational and stupid things and I drop off the face of the earth for days to explore what it means to be alive. it’s a promise you need to make to yourself to get drunk and make art, sit outside and think of the sun that warms your skin and try your hardest to make that a reason to be happy. talk to strangers on a train. do stupid things that make strangers laugh and cry when your knees feel like they can’t support the weight of the entire ocean that is trapped inside your eyes. but always have the thought that you’ve carried yourself for this long, maybe not as gracefully as you’d like, but you have and you will keep on doing so. look at the dark circles around your eyes and think of them as ringlets left by the lessons you’ve learned. create a life for yourself that you see fit, regardless of how others view it. I’ve made mistakes, plenty and I’ve had my heart broken and I’m not quite sure of my existence but I know that if I can somehow make someone’s day, maybe even just a minute of it, telling them that their looks nice or that their eyes seem brighter that day then my existence for that moment was not for nothing. live your life with the utmost conviction that you are more than the sum of your past mistakes. you have to promise yourself that you’ll give yourself even the littlest reasons to feel alive, even for just a moment because that’s what life is, a constellation of moments. I’m not saying it still be easy, but I’m saying that it’s one way to go through life. it’s a hard and solitary path, but my God, it’s worth it. maybe the person you haven’t met yet is yourself. your raw, carnal, natural self that you haven’t been true to. be good to yourself, if you can’t promise me or anyone else that, then promise yourself."